Solidarity, Mamas! Is It All Just Talk?
The other day, I posted about mom memes that make you feel better when you’re having a rough day. Or year.
It’s nice to know that you’re not alone. Really. Just to hear that someone else’s kid wakes up every hour on the hour makes you feel like at least it’s not you.
And then there are the books. All those self-help books that tell you that you’re not alone in your fucked-upness. It’s not a flaw. It’s what makes you real.
While that’s all true, is it really getting you out of the land of the lost? Or are you just wasting time?
Can affirmations get you out of a rut?
Affirmations are awesome. In fact, writing your own affirmations is one of the first things that I have you do in many of my coaching programs.
- help you consciously select a new thought pattern
- prevent the negative thoughts from creeping into your mindset
- improve your self-esteem
- define your focus
But if you don’t get your ass up off the couch, all of the affirmations in the world aren’t going to help you lose that baby weight.
We’re not really talking about weight here, though.
When it comes to you getting out of sheer survival mode and exploring this amazing woman that you are, affirmations definitely get you started. But where do you go from there?
Do you find yourself nodding vehemently when you read an inspirational quote? You get a rush of motivation, then a flicker of guilt, and then your baby cries and your life comes rushing back to you in all of its messy, overwhelming, mind-numbing, exhausting glory.
And you end up right back where you started.
All of the affirmations in the world aren’t going to get you out of your rut. You can read every self-help book, but if you don’t take any action, the only person you helped is the author by buying the book.
I get kind of annoyed when I read another blog post that tells me I’m amazing and a great mother. I mean, I forget at times, and it’s nice to hear those affirmations, but you don’t even know me.
Back when I was a new mom, still struggling to survive the nursing, the tantrums, the exhaustion and the overwhelm, I would read those sweet, inspiring blogs, and inside, I’d be screaming, “You don’t know me!”
- You don’t know about the monster voice that comes out when I have to ask my kids something for the 5th time.
- You don’t know about how I sometimes understand those parents who walk out the door and never come back.
- You don’t know about how my mantra for dealing with middle-of-the-night baby wakeups was to imagine throwing the baby out the window.
- You don’t know about the time that I almost slammed my son’s head into the floor.
Back when I was a mom who was just surviving, doing whatever I could to tread water so I wouldn’t drown, I did need to connect with other mothers who could relate. I needed inspiration.
But I would have drowned if I didn’t have actual tools to get me out.
And that’s what’s important. Start with what inspires you, and use it to motivate you as you continue along your journey. But at some point along the way, you’re going to need an actual life boat. The kind you can wrap your hands around and use to pull you out.
If you’ve been keeping up with the quotes, reading the books, and following the inspirational blogs, congratulations! You are already working to change your mindset. Your path has already begun. Now you just need to actually DO something about it.
You tell yourself that you’d do anything to just feel like a human being again. If you’d do anything, you can do this.
You tell yourself that you don’t have time for anything. You can take action toward reconnecting with yourself in just a few minutes a day.
You tell yourself that you’re amazing and a great mom. Show yourself that you really believe it.
Need some tools to stop just surviving and live fully in your life as the complete woman that you are?
Start with the 12 Days Of Getting Your Shit Together challenge. It’s a little jump start to get you going. You can do it at your own pace. And as you use the tools, you’ll see things start to shift.
And you can be sure of one thing: If you do nothing, nothing will change.
Do this for yourself. You’re worth it. I am sure of that.Click here to start the 12 Days Of Getting Your Shit Together challenge.