Do you ever feel like those inspirational quotes that you see on social media save your life? You feel like a terrible mom. All you do is scream at your kids. You have no idea who you are anymore other than that lady who does all the work around here.

You were dreaming of leaving the kids and flying to Mexico. Forever. Because shit is getting really hard.

And then your friend posts some sweet and funny mom memes in a parenting group that you’re in, and you completely reconsider. Or you just buy two more tickets so that your kids can join you on your Mexican vacation.

This is how your day goes:

My kid just got into the raw cookie dough. Now I have no cookies to actually bake. Where’s the number for the pediatrician? Or should I call poison control? Does he feel like he has a fever? My kid is definitely coming down with salmonella.

Oh YASSSSS! I am a GREAT mom! Plus, I was going to make the kid cookies. Of COURSE I’m a great mom. Duh.

Maybe I didn’t notice the kid eating the cookie dough because I haven’t slept in like four years. When anyone hints that there could be more to life than this fucking exhaustion, I want to punch them in the face. Screw that. I just want some sleep. I’m a zombie. You can see it on my face. Hell, you can see it in my attitude. I can’t live like this anymore.

Finally! Someone else gets it. What’s that? The toddler is coming out of his bed again? I don’t care if it’s midnight. I need another cup of coffee.

I drink too much. And we’re not talking about coffee here. I know that technically, needing to drink wine every night makes me an alcoholic. But, honestly, it’s the only way I can deal.

My new mantra? “I’m a winner!” I can now smile to myself whenever I see the hashtag #winner. Because I know what it really means.

Even though I just yelled at my kid for the 1,536th time today. A flicker of guilt flashes through my body. I cough. My throat is sore. I look at my phone so I can block out the child’s whining.

At least if my kids don’t understand me, all the other moms out there do. {Yells at kids:} OMG Can you PLEASE stop fighting?

Speaking of the kids, I can’t get the thought out of my mind that if I didn’t have them, I’d be sipping margaritas on the beach right now. Ignore the fact that it’s 40 degrees out and raining.

Hilarious. Now how can I get margaritas delivered to my house, ignore dinner tonight, and sleep until 10am tomorrow?

Of course, my husband doesn’t understand. Why does he think he can get an automatic shower before he leaves me alone with the kids for the entire day? If anyone deserves that shower, it’s me.

Oh right. I’m a rock star.

But if I’m such a rock star, why can’t I just get it together? I forgot that it was Dr. Seuss day today, and my kid yelled at me because I forgot to remind him to wear his crazy clothing to school. Plus, I forgot his lunch yesterday, and I have no food in the house for dinner except lettuce. I overdrew my bank account, I forgot my purse at home, and I’m out of gas. With my kids fighting in the backseat. I want to give up. I want to quit life.

Ok, fine. I’ll do it for another day.

And then I read this one, and it makes me feel better for a second. Right–my kids aren’t going to remember the messy house. They’re going to remember the time I spent with them.

Except I haven’t really spent any time with them that doesn’t involve yelling. And now I’m feeling guilty–I’m supposed to clean my oven??!!??

But then I’m reminded about their sweet little smiles.

Except, let’s be honest. That hasn’t happened in a really long time.

And this is probably why.

Because it’s just so fucking hard.

Ugh, thanks for the reminder. I know it’s hard! I want something to make it easy!

Like a vacation. I need a vacation. But by myself. Without the kids. My husband could stay at home too. To watch the kids. I just want to go to Mexico, ok?