I just want to make something clear. Even though this site is called Make Your Perfect, you know that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, right? I don’t want all you perfectionists to be freaking out and thinking I’m talking about getting your life to the point where you’re “doing it all.” When I talk about Supermom, I’m not talking about that mom that does everything. I’m talking about the mom who feels amazing and confident and fulfilled by all she does. Make sense?
And here’s the thing: I’m not perfect either.
Even though I’m a life coach for moms, I work on myself every day. I’m not striving for perfection, either. I set different intentions every week; I have a vision that I work toward, but that changes. I use a coach myself to help clarify my dreams, organize my tasks, reach my goals, and stay accountable.
Like I said, I’m not perfect.
What Happens When You Fall off the Wagon?
Recently, I fell off the wagon with my waking up before the kids. I talked about this before, how waking up early is such an amazing way to start each morning happy and sane. I had been in a super dedicated groove and waking up an hour before the kids for a while. That quiet time sitting in the dark, watching the sun rise, was private and seemed like my little secret with myself. There were no screams, no one asking me to wipe their butt. I could read an entire sentence in one sitting. It was amazing.
And then the days got longer, it was brighter outside at 5:30am, and it didn’t feel so quiet and special anymore. And my kids were waking up earlier because it was lighter out too. So they were interrupting me every 10 minutes anyway. And then one weekend hit where I slept late (which means I slept until 6:45 or so), and I lost the drive. That week, I snuggled under my covers until my kids jumped on me. I watched the sun come up from the comfort of my bed.
I also stressed out. I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I laid in bed worrying about the day and running through my to-do list in my mind (totally unproductive). I was irritable every time I did doze off and a small child wandered in, crying because his brother hit him. I woke up irritable. I yelled at my kids in the morning. I felt rushed.
It took a few weeks before I really got it through my thick skull that this was not the best way to start my morning. And then, this morning, boom. I dragged myself out of bed after lying there for 40 minutes, worrying about my day. I had 20 more minutes to be alone before the kids came out of their room.
I jumped out of bed, poured myself an iced coffee, and sat down with a book.
And then, just like that, my day turned around. Dread turned into excitement. Anxiety turned into motivation. And any irritability I felt upon waking turned into peace, balance, and calm. And—boom. I’m actually looking forward to waking up early tomorrow. Just like that.
Forming a Habit
Creating a habit takes a long time. Research shows that, depending on the person, it can take somewhere from 20-300 days or so. So it could take a few weeks. Or it could take a year. But the more you change, the more you continue on the path you want to be on, even if it’s hard, the more your brain physically changes to adapt to this new mindset, this new way of living. If you slip up, your brain doesn’t immediately lose the new connections it has formed.
That means that if you slip up, the development of the habit is still happening in your brain. It still exists. You don’t have to throw it all away if you fall off the wagon periodically. Of course, it helps if you have someone who can support you and keep you accountable when you do fall off. It helps to have someone who can help guide you back. But you have it within you. Your brain is wired that way.
What habit are you working on establishing or changing?