We are all so damn busy lately. When I talk to my mom on the phone, the first thing she always says to me when I ask her how she is is, “Great! I’m so busy, and I love it!”

I’m the first to say it—I’m one of those busy moms too. In fact, I feel more motivated, more energetic, and more productive the more I have to do. I tend to lose momentum when I’m not busy. And if I’m not doing something I love, I end up feeling lazy and bored if I’m not busy.

But what if, next time someone asked you what you were up to, instead of telling them all the things you were doing, you told them about all the things you weren’t doing? Because what’s more meaningful: All of the crap you have going on, or what you’ve been thinking about and feeling?

It would look something like this:

“Hey! How are you doing?”

“Great. I have been feeling so happy lately. I’ve been doing something I love every day and completely reconnecting with myself. I’ve been waking up before the kids and writing in my journal. Reflecting on my day before the rest of the world gets up has made the biggest difference in my life. Yesterday, I stood outside barefoot at 6AM and watched this amazing sunset.”

Ok, so that’s something you actually did. But I bet this kind of interaction might lead to,

“So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about {fill in the blank here. With anything.}”

Wouldn’t you rather have a chat with a friend about what the two of you are thinking rather than the mundane what you’re doing? Especially when what you’re doing is the same, day in and day out? She probably doesn’t want to hear about your work. Again. Or your kid. Again.

And I’m guilty of actually losing touch with good friends because of this. Because if I’m not doing something new, if my life hasn’t really changed on a practical level in a while, I don’t call old friends. I don’t write them. Because I feel like I have nothing to say to them. But in fact, they probably don’t want to hear about how busy I am. They are my friends, so they are probably much more interested in me, in what’s making me happy, sad, or angry, in what I’m thinking about.

Try this. Next time someone asks you what you’ve been up to lately, instead of sighing and spouting off how busy you are, stop and take a minute. Tell your friend how you’ve been feeling, what you’ve been thinking about, what has excited you lately or made you feel emotional. Chances are, you’ll feel more connected—not only with your friend, but reconnect with yourself.

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