In September, I closed Make Your Perfect. Well, “closed.” In quotation marks. Because it kind of never happened.
There are 2 reasons why I did it:
1). I had financial obligations to take care of.
Money is just money. But there’s a whole energy thing attached, and I try not to make money limit me in any way. But I had to pay off some stuff, and to do that, I had to make money.
Hour for hour, I was making more money as a freelance writer than with MYP, and I do love being a writer. So it seemed logical to do the thing that brought in some dough.
To be honest, along with these financial obligations, or maybe because of them, I was harboring a lot of resentment toward everything that had to do with MYP. I hate saying that, but money was clouding my vision surrounding my business.
And the connections I made in it.
And my purpose.
And your purpose.
I didn’t want to do what I was doing with MYP if I was feeling resentful about it. I’m pretty good at practicing living a life that’s really pleasurable, and I don’t hold onto things that don’t serve me. I’ve practiced that a lot.
So I let MYP go.
2). I had a deep drive to do a deep dive (see what I did there?)
In addition to paying some bills, I needed to go inward. I felt like everything that I was learning on my own, everything I was practicing, everything that was helping me, I was turning around and immediately sharing with you.
All of a sudden, I felt a pull to assimilate everything that I’ve been working on for the past several years. I needed to retreat to a space where only my opinion mattered. Because I had gotten to a point where I would be so excited to share stuff with you that I would rush over its practice in my own life. And I was gauging how I felt some days by how I was able to help others.
I needed to know how I felt on my own. Doing my thing to do my thing, you know?
Not to make money, and not to get a rush because I was helping people.
I felt so clear that I needed to close Make Your Perfect that I didn’t deliberate on it. I just told you all that I loved you and closed the website.
I thought it would be permanent.
But in my tendency to cut corners and not really finish anything that I start, I didn’t pull a permanent plug. I left the website, the Facebook page, the MYP Powerhouse Collective group in states of semi-shut down.
Plus, whatever you put on the internet is there forever, right? Nothing is really permanent.
And so—don’t laugh—I’m back.
Or maybe laugh. Actually, go ahead. Totally laugh if you want. It’s kind of funny.
I’ve been in and out since I started this thing that I’ve referred to as a business. I haven’t always been consistent with my offerings, and I feel a little ashamed about the fact that I’ve gotten you all excited about stuff, put products and online courses out there for you, and then kind of disappeared.
I’m going to be honest here — I was really scared to come back. Part of me was about to decide that I would stick to my guns and keep MYP closed and never come back because I said that I wouldn’t.
But that was just fear talking. And I guess I’m also a little stubborn.
Part of me also wondered if I had actually closed MYP because of fear. That might be partly true.
But whatever. Toss that fear aside. Recognize it, feel it, and then do what you feared anyway.
That’s what I decided.
So I’m back, and here’s why:
While I was taking my hiatus, my sabbatical, if you will, I received so many messages and got completely clear on what I’m here to do.
I don’t want to bore you, so if you want to read more, here’s the next part of the story.
But let me just tell you: I love that you’re here, I love that you stuck around (or found me anew, whichever the case may be). I’m grateful for you.
