Ok, I’m going to preface this by saying I kind of hate the word “happy mom.” I mean, we’re more multifaceted than that, right? I don’t even know if I’m sure that “happy” is what we should strive for. There’s so much more encompassed in a fulfilling life: peace, balance, bliss, surrender, intensity, emotion.
When I hear the word “happy,” I kind of envision a woman with a blank look and a pasted smile on her face. Maybe that’s just me. But it’s just easier to write one simple word than a series of endless adjectives.
So every time you see “Things happy moms will do”, you can kind of roll your eyes a little and know that I’m really talking about wholeness.
Like, the kind of mom who:
- feels like she has her shit together but knows it’s all relative.
- appreciates her kids when they’re around but breathes a sigh of relief when they go to sleep.
- doesn’t leave her keys in the freezer and her kids’ lunches in the car.
- is fulfilled.
- feels calm in the overwhelm because she is purposeful.
- exudes love and embraces sorrow and desire and pain too.
- rarely misplaces her keys anymore.
- finds time for herself.
- lives life with joy, intention and meaning.
Do you want to be that kind of mom this year? Then read on. If not, close this web page and go search for your car keys. Or your children. Or both.
1. Create a vision.
How often do you get stuck in the mire of every day? You’re just surviving. You can see, through a mountain of laundry, toys and greasy hair, what needs to happen next. But only barely.
So when you’re ready to devote time to yourself, you have no idea what you want to do. Your vision is stuck on the next thing.
A vision isn’t necessarily a big picture goal. It doesn’t have to be realistic. It’s that fantasy that lifts you out of the overwhelm and reminds you that you are destined for greater things.
Here are some tips for creating a vision:
- 5-15 minutes: Do something that relieves stress and may even bring out your inner child. Take a bath, give yourself a pedicure, read a magazine, dance to your favorite song… don’t let silly limit you. Be free and shed a layer of weight.
- 5-10 minutes: Find a place where you can be alone, uninterrupted. (You can do this while you’re going to bed at night). Breathe deeply, focusing on filling your body with peace and calm. Ask yourself: Where do I want to be? It could be where you want to be now, a month from now, a year from now. Your vision may take you to the far reaches of Bali or to the moon. Or it may take you to a happy picnic with your family at the park. Whatever it is, let it happen.
- 5-10 minutes: Take the time to journal about your vision, or create a vision board. I love to use Dream It Alive for vision board work.
Repeat this vision work every night until your vision becomes a peaceful promise of bliss that exists in your universe.
2. Choose 1-3 habits to cultivate this year.
Don’t go crazy. I know you want to declutter your entire house 30 pieces at a time and run that 5K in March. We both know that something is going to have to give. You CAN do it all, but you can’t do it all at once. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
Choose just 1-3 habits that you want to develop in 2017. This will help direct you toward ritual, which is important for feeling like you have your shit together.
3. Get your finances together.
Your budget is such a great metaphor for your life. If you’ve been feeling like you’re scrounging for every penny in the last year, chances are you don’t feel all that abundant in life either. If you’ve been flying by the seat of your pants, spending money willy-nilly without awareness of what’s coming in, you’re probably also living your life in a less meaningful way.
If you don’t have your budget together, you will probably always have a nagging sense of anxiety stuffed somewhere deep down in your psyche. It sucks. It’s scary. It probably involves communication with your partner. And not the sweet nothings that you prefer to whisper in each other’s ears. But if your budget is under control, your life will feel more in control.
4. Schedule some free time.
Every mother says that she doesn’t have a stitch of free time. I was one of them. I still slip into that myth sometimes.
Search your soul here. Where can you get free time?
YES, THIS MAY INVOLVE ASKING FOR HELP. You might have to suck it up and confess to your partner that you’re dying for one night by yourself in a hotel room every three months or so to regroup. It might not be that crazy, though. You might just need to ask your partner to take care of morning duty so you can “sleep late” one Saturday a month. You know, you’ll sleep till 7am, because that’s late in mom world. You might need to look at your budget and realize you can spend an extra $20 a month for a babysitter. Or you can look at your schedule and see if there’s time for you to get together with a friend and bring your kids along with you. You can even book a long weekend with your partner and kids. Whatever it is, schedule it. Ask, put it in your calendar, and just book it already.
5. Find your tribe.
Which brings me to the last thing that happy mamas have behind them: A tribe. If you’re serious about making this year a meaningful one, one that’s not all about chasing the overwhelm, I would be honored to have you by my side.
As of the time of this writing, the MYP Powerhouse Collective is free, and you can join. What is it? It’s a tribe made up of moms who want more than support… They’re ready to take action.
Find your tribe. Get the support you need. Find out what other things happy moms (and not so happy moms, and all the other kinds of moms) are doing to stay sane. Do it before it’s too late!
Click here to join the MYP Powerhouse Collective. I can’t wait to meet you there!!