How often do you roll your eyes and silently ask me to shut the f*ck up about joy and peace and balance while you’re wiping your kid’s puke from your hair and listening to your other child cry incessantly about the fact that his favorite pants aren’t clean?

You have kids. They have tantrums. You don’t have time. You don’t have sex. You aren’t enjoying any of that. And you’re stuck. You chose this. To be a mother. Or maybe you didn’t. Either way, you’re in it for the long haul. It’s not like you can just drop your kids off on my doorstep and fly off to Mexico. {I don’t do babysitting, sorry.}

I get emails sometimes saying, “I wish I lived in a town where I had family around to help me.” Or “I wish I had the time to even think about something other than the puke in my hair.” Or “I wish I knew what I wanted out of life, because then I would at least have something to hope for.”

Part of me wants to tell you that I was there about 5 years ago, and I almost really hurt my child because of it. Another part of me wants to tell you how I still slip back there. I’m a mom. I’m human. I get it.

But I’m going to skip all of that. I want to tell you something else today that maybe you haven’t thought of.

Guess what? These wishes? They lead to your big dreams.

And that request for me to shut the f*ck up? That’s your pissed-off self.

When you combine the two, you know what you get? Momentum. Change. Movement.

That’s scary. The thought of change is one of the scariest things. It involves rewiring so many facets of our brain, and that’s just not comfortable. Thinking about moving to a town where your family is around? Scary. Thinking about shifting your routine to make the time to enjoy your life? Scary. Thinking about working on a journey to find yourself and discover your life’s bigger purpose? Scary.

But what’s the alternative? Staying stuck. Becoming bitter. Hating yourself, your kids and your husband for keeping you stuck. Passing on that mentality to your kids. Going crazy because you held yourself back all your life.

Which version is scarier?

So here’s what you’re going to do to change your life:

1). Decide what you’re going to change. Not what you wish would change, but what you’re going to change.

2). Let yourself daydream. Envision what your life will be like when that changes. Without the little voice in your head telling you that it’s not possible. Remember when you were a kid? One of the differences between childhood and “adulting” is that as a kid, you really believed your dreams. So dream your dream, feeling the feelings that you will have when you get that dream, and believe that dream.

3). Make a plan. What are you going to do to get from your current state to the one of your dreams?

4). Tell someone about your plan. Don’t tell someone who is going to laugh in your face, be jealous or tell you all the reasons why you can’t achieve your dream. Join the MYP Powerhouse Collective and tell the women in this private Facebook group. We’re there to help you get there.

5). Get help. What kind of help do you need to take the steps in your plan and change your life? Whose support, time and resources can help you reach this dream? Know that you can always work with me one-on-one if you need a kind kick in the butt and someone to help you work through this journey and live the dream.

6). Be grateful. For the fact that you’re determined to get out of this. For the fact that you have a strong will and a brain that can be re-wired. For the fact that you have a vision to dream about. For the fact that you live in a society that allows you to do and be whoever you want.

Maybe one day we’ll go to Mexico together.

Want to change your life?

Join a mom’s group that’s working together to achieve more. More peace, more balance, and more fulfillment. Within motherhood, not while ignoring it.