In this business, I meet a lot of moms. I meet moms who feel like they are rocking the mom thing and others who feel like they struggle all the time. And as the moms who feel like they struggle grow into confident moms, the ones who feel like they’re rocking it start to doubt themselves and feel guilty. It’s an ever-changing wave that we ride on on this motherhood thing.
So when I come across moms who tell it like it is, who admit that they have their moments, who share their challenges as well as their triumphs, I breathe a sigh of relief, because we need this kind of honesty out there. It helps us connect, it helps us find support, and it helps us stay sane in a world where everything feels new.
I recently met blogger Monika Tournaud, this beautiful mom who has spent her life searching for a creative outlet and has finally found it in motherhood. Monika writes about beauty and fitness as well as being a mom. She highlights a new “Wonder Woman” (i.e., a mom) every week on her blog too… I love women who are passionate about building a village of mothers! Check her out at Mom Etc., Twitter, and Instagram.
Below is Monika’s article about her shift into motherhood.
My Truth About Motherhood
Today I have a very special post for you, something that every mother can probably relate to. Lately I’ve been having major “blues” … I have been watching my daughter grow up the last 9.5 months and every day I see her change and grow up more and more. I feel like I never want to be apart from her so I don’t miss her doing something big like saying “Mama” or her first real step. I find myself weekly going through her closet and picking out things that she has outgrown and either never wore or wore once. And sometimes I stumble on outfits she had as a newborn, and that is how my blues begin.
I always heard women saying that they go through this phase and I never believed it or maybe I didn’t pay enough attention. Either way it has been such a constant lately I figured what’s better than to share these feelings with my fellow moms, my readers and supporters of MomEtc.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always these feeling of melancholy. There are so many happy feelings as well, her smiles and her ever changing behavior towards me. My husband laughs when I say to him “I think she finally really loves me, she knows me…” His reply is “Of course she knows, she always has…”
However, sadly, I wasn’t one of those women that instantly had that motherly feeling, but I know I am not the only one. The first few months are so brand new, it takes time to adjust your life, priorities, sleeping cycles and well the list goes on an on. Unless you have done this before you have zero knowledge of what’s it’s really like to be a mom or what it entails. I was terrified. I still am at times, especially when I see how fast time goes and how quickly this little thing changed from a distant thought, to a soul being inside me for 10 months to her being born, and life as we know it shifting into something completely unfamiliar.
The whole “motherhood” thing took me a while to get adjusted to, mentally, emotionally & physically because sometimes you feel like you are training for a marathon doesn’t it? HA I can’t really tell you when this “shift” took place but I know it happened and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The feeling that I’ve been waiting to feel all my life, and especially since she was born finally came and it was something I can’t explain. The most beautiful & priceless gift anyone has ever given me.
I look into her eyes now every naptime & every bedtime and I feel a connection I have never felt before, something completely different and selfless. I finally feel what its like to love a child unconditionally, something I never really grasped until now. Sometimes I wonder how it took me all those weeks & months to “feel” that connection. Most of you know I am not religious, however I am very spiritual and have my own beliefs. I realized that I was “praying” for this to happen, sending it to the universe and it just so happens that everything lined up the way it should and the universe answered.
Now it isn’t just the sadness of them growing up, or the happiness you feel when you are with them, boy there are some tough times that nothing prepares you for! But even those times have taught me so much patience & how to laugh at situations that are really not that serious even for those times I am grateful.
This post unfortunately has no advice to give you, it’s simply here to let you know that you are not alone. Some of us are not born mothers, sometimes we become them when we least expect it or when the time is right. There is no wrong or right in this, at the end of the day we are all the same trying to do the best we can & be the best moms.