In the past few weeks, my entire world has changed. Instead of feeling confusion and dread first thing in the morning as I hear those tiny but potent voices crudely lifting me from blissful dreamland, instead of waking to pain and anger by feet stomping on any limb that dares to stretch out farther than the central mound my body makes under the blanket, instead of feeling a rush of stress hormones as I instantly remember that I have no control over this choice to wake up before the sun, I have chosen differently.

I have been choosing to wake up before the kids.

I am a new person.

Making a Choice

The simple act of choosing to wake up happy is perhaps the most influential factor here. When I wake up, roll around in bed for a little while, drift in and out of dreamland, thinking how nice it would be to roll over and go back into this dream, it would be nice. And it is nice. Until someone else decides it’s time to rouse me out of la-la land abruptly. And then, all of a sudden, it’s not so nice. In fact, nothing is nice at that point.

Ever since my kids were born, sleeping in (and by “sleeping in” I mean sleeping past 6 am) has not been a possibility. My options are no longer sleep in lazily vs. get up unhappily and walk around like a zombie until reality sets in.

My options have become be woken up by two hellions prying my eyeballs open vs. experience peace by myself before dawn. I have chosen the second option. And now I wake up happy.

Quiet Time

It was hard at first. My rational mind is not functioning when I’m half asleep, as my husband will attest to. I often speak in tongues, open my eyes but look through you, and give you a piece of my mind if you try to talk to me before I’m fully awake. So when I wake up at 5:30, a full hour before the kids, it’s hard for my brain to rationalize actually getting out of bed.

But once I’m up, I’m a happy camper.

At first, I felt like I had to do something with this pre-dawn era. Like check my emails, make the kids’ lunches, work out. I felt like it wasn’t worth it for me to wake up before the kids if I didn’t have a full hour to actually get something productive completed. That made it harder to convince myself to drag my body out of my warm bed.

After waking up early for about a week, I had a moment of weakness and slid back into my old ways.

It only took one morning of feeling the stress, the harriedness, the instant anger, to realize the extent of what I had done. I had completely changed my mindset by waking up before the kids.

I experienced such a drastic difference in my mood when my kids woke me up compared to when I woke up (and got up) on my own, that it wasn’t even worth it to get an extra 30 minutes of shuteye, I realized. It set the stage for my entire day, and it meant the difference between having a serene, productive morning vs. one filled with yelling and rushing around.

I also realized it didn’t matter what I did after I got up. It just mattered that I did get up. All I needed was enough time to switch my brain from fantasyland to real life before the kids did it for me. If all I did was move to the couch, curl up under a blanket and read or write in my journal, that was good enough for me.

Then, when my kids come wandering disconcertedly into the living room at 6:15, whining sleepily about a missing toy, a brother hitting them, or whether it’s time to wake up yet, my initial response isn’t anger. It’s a welcoming hello, a hug, and a snuggle. I’m officially glad to see them at that moment, and the day starts off so much better.

For the record, I was woken up at 5am this morning by a crankypants looking for a toy that he left in his dad’s car yesterday. I didn’t even have time to wake my ass up before him. It’s usually not that early. Yes, I did get up after that, so I’m being productive and writing this, but I can hear that the kids are still up, and every time I hear a voice, a bang, or a shuffle, I am instantly seething, reminded of how I didn’t get to make my own decision this morning.

And making that first decision of the day on my terms and without someone needing a thing from me is what helps me wake up happy.

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Wake Up Happy